Blowing out the palo santo on 2019. And yes I know, we shouldn’t buy palo santo anymore it’s very bad for the environment. I also don’t really want to reflect too deeply into this last year, yet, here we are. What a topsy turvy effing year this has been. It has been filled with some huge milestones for my family and some really challenging moments for myself. 2019 stripped me of what I thought I wanted and showed me what was really for me. It detoxed the last shreds of my old life and started me on a path of something new.
This past year I lost a long relationship, I lost a career path I thought I wanted, I lost an old identity and found myself within a new one with a whole new perspective. I think I spent part of this year longing for the past like it was an old friend. It had been a with me a while, I was miserable but comfortable. Nothing much happens within the comfortable.
I’m closing this year like it’s the end of a sequel. Not a chapter. Not even a book. But a series of books. I describe where I’m currently at as very black pagey. I’m doing the most in my life but I have so much space, so much clarity. Which, if you know me, I might have mentioned my word of 2019 was “SPACE” and it isn’t a word I would describe 2019 as being.
Space during 2019 is something I didn’t just get; it is something I created. Well, it is something that happened based on the events that took place during this year. So I am finishing 2019 with space and with clarity and like I said, I’m ending the sequel.
For the first time in years I can say I feel 100% myself. I feel 100% independent to know the decisions I make are my own and that the dreams I have I can follow for myself. We all owe ourselves the possibility that what we really want can happen because we work for it. So thank you universe for this past year and thank you for the next. 2020, that’s some clearer vision.
Millie Melissa, x